Scheduling
by Dizzy Trickster
Summary: The leader of the Goblin faction has odd interests, and her interests tend to be more 'obsessions'. None of them so odd as her admiration of the Troll Leader, Vol'jin. But how did that relationship start? Humor with a hint of crack.


The character Mida Silvertongue is the idea of Sarpa, and the joint creation of the people on the WoW forums. Join us in our cause to have this totally awesome leader exist!

-Begin

Wait, are you sure? You really want to go there? Look, I know there is possible great loot, but this is Mida Silvertongue we're talking about. She is scary enough on her own, but I really don't want to invoke whatever voodoo that Troll King has protecting her again.

What, you mean you don't know? Well that explains it. Her Tallest and The Tallest are tight. Like, peas in a pod, peas in mashed potatoes, peas and carrots... okay, so the last one isn't 'close', but they taste good together.

Fine, I am on hold anyway, so I will tell you about it while we wait.

It all started, as Bowie moaned, when the Goblins had their first meeting with the other Horde leaders. Her Tallest, the Trade Prince Mida Silvertongue, is nothing if not punctual (or even early, if the situation allowed one to benefit from it) and arrived at the strategy room in Grommash Hold right on the dime.

The problem was that Sylvanus had been delayed by Zepplin problems, Lor'themar with her, and Baine as well on his own route. Apparently, someone had sold some faulty parts to the Goblins running the Zeppelins. You know the cartel, the CEO was recently in the news from suffering a nervous breakdown for the tenth time this week. Anyway, regardless of the terror that that particular cartel of Goblins experienced by the hands of the Bilgewaer Cartel leader, the Zeppelin failure lead to two very interesting situations.

One, Garrosh threw a fit and had marched off to yell at someone. Two, while Bowie darted to gather information, Her Tallest and the Darkspear leader Vol'jin were left alone in the same room.

Why would this matter, you ask? Well it doesn't so much if you picture both leaders being the typical stern, facing forward type who would share a few pleasantries and then wait in peace. But it does matter, because Vol'jin (with privileges from being the one to open brewfest ceremonies) had access to alcohol and Her Tallest to explosives.

By the time Bowie got back, he could only stare in shock at the numerous papers, charts, graphs and tables all strewn across the floor with sketches of Goblin pride and Troll adventures on them, and the pieces of metal stuck to places they should not have been able to reach, with small fires popping up here and there. In the middle sat Vol'in and Her Tallest, very drunk, and laughing their butts off.

---

"No no no, see, ya gotta make the grunts try and jump over the shark tank to get their raise! That saves you more money in the end, and keeps out the incompetents!"

Vol'jin snickered as Mida gestured to a piece of paper that had images of what looked like sharks with lazers strapped to their heads, in a mechanical tank of death. There was also some poor goblin jumping over it with what looked to be a malfunctioning rocket pack.

"Nah, mon. It be betta' ta let 'em fight it out, ya? Dat way dere be less mistakes." He jabbed one large finger at the paper. "Ya see, if ya let dis happen den de sharks will get sick. An if de mon be tipsy or somethin', well, ya can't fault dat." He gave a firm nod, his red plume bobbing in sage agreement with his words. Mida let out a hum as she sketched over it again.

"Well, what if we have 'em fight it out over the tank? On a rickety bridge, or single rope. That way we get more entertainment, the sharks get fed, and less chance of rocket fuel poisoning!" After pulling back from the paper with a satisfied look, she then batted her eyes up at the Troll leader and purred out (to the great horror of Bowie) "Of course, I would be more than happy to have you in my shark tank anytime."

And then (to the even greater horror of Bowie) Vol'jin gave a flirtatious wink back. "I 'tink it would be better for ya ta come into my ocean, ya? Get ya nice and-"

"What is the meaning of this!" Garrosh came storming from behind Bowie, leaving the Goblin the melt in relief at not having to hear the rest of Vol'jin's sentence. The look of rage at the state the room was in caused both Mida and Vol'jin to light up like they had just gotten a present (the whole 'kicking all races except Orcs and Tauren out of Orgrimmar center' hadn't gone over well with them). Vol'jin gave a shrug and cool look towards the Orc.

"Me an' Her Tallest be discussin' strategy, yeah?"

As Garrosh stuttered in rage, Mida got up and dusted her legs off, before wobbling over to Bowie. "Hey, I think time is about up. We need to be gettin' back home, and since the others aren't here yet... I think we can organize another time. Time is money, after all." With a final wink to Vol'jin, she grabbed a shocked Bowie and dragged him out down the hall. "See ya later, big boy."

Bowie sputtered at her, his arms waving around as they finally sat into the go-limousine 2010 (the last nine didn't go so well). "What was that about!".

"What was what about?" Mida blinked at him innocently, contrasting with the wires she was playing with in her hands that would explode the rocket fuel and give the machine a speed boost... or possibly blow it up.

"Oh, I don't know. What about the wanton destruction of our ally's property! The departure which would only sunder ties! But most of all, the flirting!?!?"

Mida just sighed at him, and gave him a pat on his bald head. "Bowie, Bowie. I have no clue what you are talking about. I thought the meeting went extraordinarily well."

And before he could say another word, she brought the wires together causing the machine to lurch forward with a sonic boom, leaving Her Tallest to raise her arms and start cackling like she had won the lottery, and Bowie to start screaming his lungs dry.

--

Now, if this was where it ended Bowie would have simply dismissed it as yet another weird moment in the life of Mida S. But what Her Tallest hadn't told him was the great deal of respect and admiration that she had gained from learning about how the Darkspear had come into the Horde. Abandoned on a island, being kicked out of their home by their own kind, the situation mirrored the Goblin's own in many ways. Even if they weren't so much kicked out, as sold away from, and not so much stranded by the supernatural as stranded by a cataclysm... which was started by the supernatural Deathwing, so there is that.

Plus, he gave her booze. Which combined with his hilarious stories (involving many, many, to-not-be-named deeds) had instantly won over Mida. And Mida is never halfway in anything, even in the simple act of liking and admiring someone.

It was a week later that Bowie walked into Her Tallest's private chambers to give her the latest reports on the building being done in the Goblin's home, when he looked up and stared in shock at the walls of said room. Or, more appropriately, the pictures on the walls of the said room. Nearly every inch was covered with pictures of Vol'jin. Pictures of him drinking, eating, being very serious over war plans (with the cutest little wrinkle between his eyebrows, as Mida would later comment) and various other poses. As he gaped, Mida finished pinning yet another picture on the walls, and stepped back with a satisfied grin.

--

"Now this is interior decorating!"

"What are you doing?!" Bowie sputtered, his arms waving around like a windmill. Mida merely smiled at him as she gestured at the numerous photos.

"Completing my shrine, what does it look like I am doing?"

"Being insane!"

"Nope, perfectly sane here. Now Bowie, I need to talk to you about our latest redesign for the squirrels. We did agree that the lazers should go into their chassis, right? And I was thinking we need to mack the robot sharks land worthy..."

--

And before Bowie could say another word, he was lead out of the room and was talking business as usual. However, he had a growing horror that this newest oddity of Her Tallest's would only get worse.

And of course, it did. There was the earring formed to look like Vol'Jin's head (which Her Tallest promptly lost, leaving some poor adventurers to scrounge around for it, which only helped to spread the rumors!) the flirting in front of the warchief (though Bowie did admit he was impressed they were able to turn the brown Orc green, with no fell magic involved.) and the naming of her personal Zeppelin 'Voodoo Mon' and giving it a red mohawk.

It was insane, it was completely Mida, and Bowie could only grumble and put up with it. And complain to anyone who asked while he was drunk in a bar in Booty Bay, of course. How did you think I found out about Her Tallest's personal room without being killed by lazer sharks with legs, being ridden by mechanical squirrels with lazers?

Hmm? Oh, awesome, I got the receptionist. Lets schedule that raid. What, you don't want to now? Well too late for that! Once you get through, it's fifty gold down and another ten every minute you waste their time!

Ah yes, would thursday work? Great, I think we could make it in between ten and twelve, allowing room for idiots dying of course. Awesome, thank you Roullette. And can you make sure that there won't be some dark curse lurking in the halls this time? I mean, I know that we raiders have to face danger but still... it's a little much.

Oh, and can I get a heads up on where exactly her mansion will be this time? the route was a little off from my information. Or maybe you can just pin it down for a bit? 100 gold? Well, I guess I can farm something between now and then....


End file.
